What To Do When A Chub Or Chaser Isn’t Into You

When it comes to finding love in the chub and chaser community, you have to be in the game to win. That means putting yourself out there either in person or online. But what happens when you put yourself out there and you don’t receive the response you expected? He’s flaky or ghosted you, what next?In this post we will discuss three things you can do when this happens that will give you back control.

Don’t get upset with the chub or chaser

So, you just met a guy online, chub or chaser and he’s not showing the type of commitment you’d hoped. Your mind begins to fill in the blanks of what could he possibly be thinking, doing, or planning that is keeping him from responding or connecting back with you? Here are a couple safe ways to approach this situation.

Hold your horses, you just connected. This chub or chaser doesn’t know you AT ALL. Common courtesy requires that he be polite when I reach out to introduce myself, well that’s not always the cause. Step back and give yourself room to breathe and grasp what is happening here.

You’ve reached out to a stranger in hopes of making a connection. He has no obligation whatsoever to even respond. Yep, that’s right, none. And why should he? He doesn’t know you from Adam and may not want to RIGHT NOW.

 He doesn’t know what you can offer him, how you can change his life for the better or make his dreams come true. What he is doing, same as you, is looking out for his best interests, which is what suits him right now.

Don’t blame him for not immediately responding. He is doing what he thinks is best for him, same as you. The key is to not take this personally because we are all on our own individual missions to find what we are looking for in the moment. You can’t fault anyone for going after what they want so don’t take it personally.

No attractive doesn’t mean not attractive six months from now

He may have passed you by this time or you may have passed him by but don’t count yourself out. Like I mention previously, now may not have been the best time. Making your presence known is a start to making a lasting connection.  The remedy to this is not to try harder. It’s to be chub centered and be the winner that you are! Be the bigger man and know a “no” doesn’t break you because a stranger doesn’t respond in the way you liked.

A huge realization that you must come to in the chub and chaser world, that defeats the chub and chaser paradigm that chasers have all the power. You have the power, always have and always will.

Flaky not doesn’t mean flaky forever.

When a chaser wants to settle down, he wants the best chub. Is this so different from chubs? I speak from experience. How does he find the best chub? By dating as many as possible. Is this so different from chubs? The problem for most chasers are how they go about this part. Is this so different from chubs?

When will he know he’s found the best chub? That depends on the chaser. Age, experience and many other factors influence when this happens. But the main take away from this, because you were the number one choice or someone is flaky with you doesn’t mean that’s who that person is. Personality traits are red flags that you should pay close attention. 

While not immediately clinging to you over a few lines of conversion is not.  Flaky not doesn’t mean flaky forever. They don’t know you but in six month time they could a lot more about you. Maybe even enough to know if you could possibly be the one.

People aren’t bad because they aren’t interested in you

If you get angry at someone because they don’t respond back in a favorable way to you, you are angry. And anger isn’t attractive. We’re all looking for something for some reason and it all boils down to love if you really, really break it all down.

 But no matter what you are seeking being angry as you go about it will never get you what you want. I’m saying being a push over and let things just run over you, no. I’m saying let things roll off you back because you are aware of the jungle you are hunting in and are prepared.

 People aren’t bad because they aren’t interested in you, they’re focused on themselves. And you can’t blame them for doing what’s best for them. Them may not realize you are best for them but that is something you can’t force either. Time normally helps play this part out. If it’s meant to be it will, your paths will cross again, and you’ll have a wonderful story to tell at parties.

Conclusion

Don’t fault anyone for not immediately responding back to you. They are on their own mission. Not attractive to you or the situation does mean not attractive ever. It takes time to get to know someone and care for them and the time may not be perfect right now. And finally, people aren’t bad because they aren’t interested in you. They have a life and are going about it the best way, they know how. 

Don’t take it personally and don’t slow down your efforts to find love. Who known when or where your Mr. Right will appear? So, my question for you, how does this change the way you’ll look for love in the chub and chaser community?